Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
