he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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