he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
