call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
