Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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