My friends, they love my intelligence
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
my poor anus
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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