yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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