Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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