I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
