so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
