There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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