i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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