how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
