some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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