I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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