i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
