ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
