belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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