I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
