summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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