youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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