dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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