I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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