i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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