I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
