so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
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Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
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I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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