I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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