Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
