at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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