The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
