Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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