I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
