he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
