I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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