I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize