Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Pants are for mortals
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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