Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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