OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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