No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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