Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize