is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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