This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize