Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
