That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
