Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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