Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
