was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
