P.S. I can't hear my feet
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
