my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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