dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
