so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
