why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
