Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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