Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize