just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
