I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
