I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
