Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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