North Korea, Best Korea!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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