He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
