mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
