one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
