white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
bring money and cleavage
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
