On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
